


Oblivion

by a2zmom



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Character Study, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e10 Awakening, F/M, Ficlet, Introspection, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-17
Updated: 2004-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-03 11:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a2zmom/pseuds/a2zmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to my betas leni-ba and way2busymom. You made this a hell of a lot better. Special thanks to the busymom for the title, since mine sucked. And special thanks to Leni for nailing the missing element, as usual.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my betas leni-ba and way2busymom. You made this a hell of a lot better. Special thanks to the busymom for the title, since mine sucked. And special thanks to Leni for nailing the missing element, as usual.

She arched and writhed beneath him, lifting her hips to bring the two of them closer. He bent down to tenderly kiss her, his body shuddering in climax as they lost themselves in passion and ecstasy,

Moments later, he lay next to her, thinking how much he needed her, wanted her, loved her. Her words from earlier filled him. They had indeed waited long enough. As he thought about the events of the day, he felt that there was something he should recall. He absent-mindedly rubbed his neck, but the elusive thought stayed just out of reach.

His team, his family was once again a cohesive unit, grudges and petty hurts pushed aside. Wes had apologized to him, finally acknowledging all the misery and pain he had caused Angel. Connor had come back, helping him defeat the beast. He had let go of all his hatred for Angel, allowing them to be father and son. A small smile played around his lips. Cordelia had admitted her feelings for him and the two of them had allowed their love to guide them.

Twenty-four hours ago, he had been positive that all was lost. He saw now that the beast had been a test of sorts. By banding together, he and those he loved had been able to defeat it and bring light back to his city. His doubts disappeared as he thought about what he had accomplished. He could and would be the hero this city needed. A rare feeling of peace and happiness swelled within him.

He looked up at that point, sensing an additional presence in the room. He should have been shocked to see her standing there, since she had never been in the hotel, much less his bedroom, but the day had been so odd up to now, it didn't seem all that peculiar. He started to speak, but she put her finger to her lips and shook her head. She was so confident and secure standing there, her smile a secret whispered just between them.

"I love you." Her voice enveloped him, warmed him. "I'll always love you. No matter where I go or who I'm with or what I do." She was dressed the way she used to, knee-high boots, a skirt obscenely short, a fashionable top. So different from the last time he had seen her. She had been defeated, shadows covering her soul. She had told him that she never wanted to see or hear from him again. That she could no longer bear him coming to her, only to leave. He hadn't realized until this moment just how much pain that had caused him. He had pushed it all away, deciding that it was for the best for both of them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you." Her words soothed an ache he hadn't known existed. At the same time, the feeling that he had forgotten something vital increased. It was no longer just a tickle in his mind, but almost painful. He scrubbed at the back of his neck, all the while thinking she had never looked more beautiful.

She was no longer smiling. Her voice was so soft that it was now barely audible, She appeared to be glowing and he was reminded of the paintings of the Madonna he had seen during his travels. "I forgive you. Everything you ever did to me, I forgive. Everything."

In that single moment, all of his unspoken dreams came true. His colleagues were his family once more, he and Wes had reconciled, his son wished to fight along side of him, Cordelia loved him and Buffy forgave him. Peace overtook him, he was blissfully content. He realized too late what he had been trying to recollect. In that fraction of an instant, he saw that the day was nothing but lies, that his dreams were veiled nightmares. The tickle turned to searing pain as his soul started to rip away. His last conscious act was to scream Buffy's name, hoping that someday she could forgive him for the new sins he was about to commit.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because a lot of people's responses to this episode puzzled me. Hardcore B/A types claiming that Angel didn't have any feeling for Cordelia and that's why he said Buffy's name at the end. And others' saying he just had a flashback to last time he lost her soul and that's why he said her name. Neither version made sense to me, so thus, a fic was born.


End file.
